(Worship leader: This heavy poem by Heman from Ezrah was turned into a psalm for singing by the Korah family to the tune of “The Darkness of Depression.”)
Yahweh.
This is the name,
This is the God
Who saves me.
And so I cry to you
Throughout the day,
Throughout the night.
I hope my prayers make it to you.
I hope you listen to them.
I am crushed
Beneath a ten ton truck
Of trouble.
Death is mere inches from me.
I’m a goner
And I can’t do a thing about it.
Send my body to the morgue,
Then put me six feet under,
Forgotten by you, God,
No longer worthy of your attention.
You did this to me,
Dropped me in a hole
And filled it in.
Your anger is truck heavy
On my chest.
You have battered me like a boxer.
You got my friends to abandon me,
Made me revolting to them.
I’m pinned down.
I can’t escape.
I can’t see through my tears.
Yahweh.
I call out for you every day.
I reach out in desperation for you.
Do you dazzle the dead
With your good deeds?
Do choirs of ghosts sing your praises?
Do cemetery dwellers talk
About how loving you are?
Do rotting corpses converse
About your unfailing commitment to them?
Who can see your wonders in the dark?
Who can applaud your justice
When swallowed up by nothingness?
But here I am
Still at it,
Crying to you, Yahweh.
Every morning I’m back at it,
Hoping,
Praying.
So, why do you walk away from me?
Why do you pretend
I don’t exist?
Ever since I was a kid,
I’ve been in pain,
Been at death’s door.
You’ve terrorized me
And my soul is a wasteland because of it.
Your anger has burned me
To the ground.
I am a bombed out shell,
Left by your terrorism.
I am sucked into the black hole
Of your terrorist anger.
You have stripped my life
Of every friend I’ve ever had.
The only friend that’s left
Is darkness.