(Worship leader: A David psalm, sung to the tune “Lilies.”)
O God!
Reach out your hand.
I’m drowning.
These waves are dragging me down.
I’m sinking,
Tossed and turned
Upside down,
Nothing to stand on,
No one to hold on to —
A bitter baptism.
My voice is raw from calling for help,
My throat sea-salt scarred.
My bleary eyes search for God
But see nothing.
My haters are thicker
Than a full head of hair.
But I don’t get it,
Don’t know why they’re out
To destroy me.
It’s ridiculous.
I’m forced to repay
What I didn’t steal.
That doesn’t mean I’m guilt-free.
You know my stupidity,
My sins, God.
Yahweh, Lord of heaven’s armies,
Don’t let those who go all in with you
Go down in flames because of me.
Israel’s God,
Don’t let those who rely on you
Suffer shame because of me.
Because the shame I’m suffering
Is your fault.
I’m mocked mercilessly.
My family ties have come unraveled.
I’m a stranger in the house I grew up in.
But your house
Is the white hot center of my passionate heart.
I gladly take every insult
Thrown at you.
When faith requires fasting,
I get mocked.
When people see my sad face,
They think it’s funny.
They all laugh at me,
From civic leaders to pot heads
And everyone in between.
So, here I am,
Praying to you, Yahweh,
Hoping this is the right time
For your great love to get going.
Let the answer to my prayer
Be you taking care of everything.
Get me out of this quicksand
Before I’m sucked all the way under.
Throw me a life preserver
Before the hate sinks me.
Don’t let this deathly chaos
Swallow me.
I feel like I’ve been set adrift
In the black void of space,
Like I’m being buried
Alive.
So, answer me, Yahweh.
Let your big love
Launch you in my direction.
In your mercy,
Sprint to my side.
Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.
Be speedy!
It’s an urgent emergency.
Come close.
Come now.
Undo the hater hurts.
You know everything I’ve endured:
The contempt,
The back-stabbing,
The shaming.
You see all my haters.
Their contempt has broken me,
Left me a blubbering mess.
I looked for sympathy
And got a fist in the face.
I needed a hug
And got a slap.
They dumped salt in my dinner
And vinegar in my cup.
May their lack of hospitality
Backfire on them,
Turning the table
Into a trap.
May they go blind
And hunchbacked.
Get angry
And drive them down,
Crushing them under your fierce wheels.
May they die,
Disappearing from memory
With no heirs to take their place.
You wounded me,
But they multiplied the pain.
You disciplined me,
But they took it way too far.
Write down their crimes
And don’t let them off the hook
For any of them.
Erase their citizenship from among your people.
Cross their name off the Nice List.
And me?
I’m hurting.
I’m in agony.
I need you so bad right now.
Please, God.
Even so, I know this:
When all this is done,
I will be praising you,
I will be spilling over with gratitude.
And my happy heart
Will mean more to you
Than any gift I could give you.
The poor and beaten-down
Will see my outcome and be glad —
You who look for God,
Keep your hearts alive with hope,
Because Yahweh hears us in our need.
He is committed to mistreated people.
Earth and sky, praise him!
Oceans and sea creatures, join in!
You will see God save Zion.
You will see him rebuild Judah.
A new exodus,
A new taking of the land
Is coming.
A new generation of his servants will inherit it.
A new people,
Marked by a deep love for him,
Will make it their home.