(A David psalm. For singing. When Nathan called out David for sleeping around with Bathsheba.)
I need some kindness, God.
I need your never-quitting love.
I need you to mop up my mess.
I’m so sin-stained
I despair of ever coming clean,
But you can do it.
Please launder this heavy dirty soul.
I’m not hiding from myself anymore,
Pretending what I’ve done is no big deal.
My guilty face stares back at me
From my mirror each morning.
I know I’ve hurt people,
But ultimately it’s you I’ve betrayed most.
I know. It’s bad.
If you slammed the gavel
And condemned me with your verdict,
I’d have to take it.
You’d be right in whatever sentence you handed down.
You have a whole lifetime of my sins to pick from.
It’s as if I was born to sin.
But you had other intentions when I was born.
You planned a wise and good life for me, not this mess.
So, get out the bleach and the rubber gloves;
Scrub me till I’m as clean as brand new.
My heart really needs a new beginning,
Your Spirit hovering over me
Like at the creation of the world.
Don’t send me away
Like Adam and Eve from the Garden.
Don’t remove your Spirit
Like you did from Saul.
Bend my spirit to match your Spirit,
So I desire what you desire,
So I take joy in what you rejoice in.
I want others who’ve blown it to know there’s another way,
Your way.
I want those who’ve turned in on themselves
To turn back toward you.
But I need you to commute my sentence first, God.
With my guilt gone,
People won’t be able to shut me up,
I’ll be talking you up so much.
I could write a big check to the church,
That’d be good
But it’s not my money you want.
My heart,
Broken and poured out like a sacrifice of old,
That’s what you want.
My spirit,
Humbly taking cues from your Spirit.
And don’t just fix me.
Fix your people.
Repair what’s broken in us all,
Like you’re doing with me,
And there will be so much singing
Your ears will ring for years.
Our grateful chorus will echo
Into eternity.