I’m not a great husband. I’m not the worst, either. Just middling. After 21 years of life together as husband and wife, you’d think that I’d have it figured out. But it’s this same old […]
Category: Relationships
Thanks to my kids for making me the dad I am today
It’s pretty typical on Fathers’ Day for us kids to tell our fathers thanks for making us the people we are today. Same as with moms on Mothers’ Day. But I’d like to turn that […]
The #1 relationship killer
Accusation is the #1 relationship killer. The pointed finger. The shaking head. The muttered comment. The flaming email. The rolled eyes. The sarcastic joke. The angry comment at the bottom of a blog post or […]
What do you do when you're an arrogant arse?
I have the ability to be a self-righteous, pompous jerk. I am accomplished at treating other as if they are less intelligent than I am. This is no pleasant thing to think about. So, I tend […]
The reason we listen to other people is …
… not because they have something we want to hear. It’s because they have something they want to say. When we listen just to what we want to hear, we miss out on several things. […]
Parenting is a long goodbye
The oldest of my four children is graduating from high school in a couple days. When he moves out of our house to attend University of Portland, he will be two weeks short of his […]
The importance of singleness in a world infatuated with romance
Every single day, my Facebook page shows wonderful pictures of couples celebrating their anniversaries together. I love it. Marriage is to be celebrated and enjoyed. The writer of Hebrews tells us in no uncertain terms: […]
How is community formed in our new nomadic era?
The way community has been formed for much of the last 4,000 years has come unravelled in the last few decades. Where agrarian societies were primarily stable farming communities — your farm and your neighbors’ farms […]
Church is about a community to serve, not a service to attend
Relationships are both the means and the end of this life. We were made for community, and yet it is the most difficult thing we ever do. The biblical account confirms this. After an amazing […]
How to kill a relationship in four easy steps
There are four sure-fire ways to kill a relationship. Most of us do aspects of each of them on a regular basis. And then we wonder why people are unhappy with us. Dr. John Gottman is […]
How to receive a gift
Gift-giving can be tough business. But often, receiving gifts is even more difficult. And some of us are downright terrible at it. Recently, my 15-year-old daughter gave her friend a $15 gift card to the […]
Life after Mom — Sufjan Stevens and how to forgive your parents
I got a phone call after midnight last night. It was my Dad. My Mom had fallen down and he needed my help getting her up. So, I quickly got dressed and walked over to […]
Becoming fluent in love languages
“Don’t give her any attention. That’s all she wants.” “He’s such an attention hound. Just ignore him.” I’ve heard countless variations on the same theme my whole life, especially during my teenage years. There’s something […]
The cross, the dishes & the unpleasantness of love
Love is easy when it’s fun. Going on dates during the first days of romantic attraction is blissful. It almost doesn’t matter what you’re doing, simply being together is magical. Holding your newborn child is […]
A trinitarian view of being human that corrects our either/or approaches
I was reading an excellent article, nodding all the way, until I got to the point where the author made a distinction between two types of people and then sided with one of them. From […]
The importance of self-knowledge to exceeding our limitations
How good of a driver do you think you are? Top 50%? Top 90%? I don’t know where the stat came from, but years ago I read that 90% of Americans think they’re in the […]
Who are you? The real purpose of labels, names & identities
A friend of mine was once the victim of a clever prank that lasted for months. The person he and his wife had asked to house-sit for them removed all of the labels from all […]
Teddy Roosevelt and manliness
I recently finished the Pultizer Prize winning biography The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris. It is a fascinating telling of the years leading up to Roosevelt’s presidency. But one of the themes that […]
Of love and technique
My three boys and I love soccer. I played as a kid and have coached my boys during their early years of playing the game, stepping aside when I got to the limits of my coaching […]
Equality: a poor substitute for love
When our culture treats one group of people badly, we seek justice through attempts at making a level playing field for everyone. At such times, these attempts at equality are necessary and helpful. But that’s […]